(t5!) Heroes Of The Zeroes Albums: #21: Coldplay – Parachutes (2000)

Whoever you are, it’s extremely difficult to dismiss Coldplay forever. A lot of people had devoted their time ridiculing and vilifying the band (“you know how I know you’re gay? Coz you like Coldplay.”). However, everyone, at some point, has reached the conclusion that it’s exhausting to deny them, eventually giving in to the soaring riffs and wispy crescendos and simplified chord progressions and infectious melodies.

Upon further examination, can we really think of a legitimate reason why the citizens should hate Coldplay to a point where listening to it is an apparent sign of homosexuality (not that there’s anything to wrong with that)? No, they don’t match up to Radiohead, nor do they have the tools and capabilities to do so, and a handful of their tracks do seem imitative of the singles off The Bends. But why are we making nonessential comparisons between the two bands anyway? By the time Coldplay released their debut Parachutes, Radiohead was experimenting with Kid A, which had about as much similarities with The Bends as Outkast’s Stankonia or PJ Harvey’s Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea. Radiohead themselves had wandered away from the lightweight, acoustically powered ballad that they left a void in what was designated as “Britpop”, and all Coldplay did was fill in the blanks. I don’t think Radiohead themselves mind that Coldplay was stepping into their shoes—I would think that imitation is the best form of flattery anyway—so I’m uncertain why we are holding it against them.

At the time, the other major knock against Coldplay was that they lack the ambition to infuse their discography with some type of experimentation; that they were at peace with being vanilla, satisfied with adding a couple of acceptable (yet anthemic) lyrics and simple (yet irresistible) melodies. And Parachutes are chock-full of these competent (yet beautiful) songs: “Sparks” is an elegant acoustic waltz, capped with Chris Martin’s falsetto; the plodding piano keys of “Trouble” fall into its proper places, like the trickling sand in an hour glass; “We Never Change” is an appropriate title for a Coldplay song, but you can’t deny its powerful emotion; their introductory single “Yellow” is now an exuberant karaoke favorite. This would be a genuine slam if you actually classify Coldplay as an underground phenomenon or an alternative group to begin with. But really, it’s all you can ask for from a bunch of guys, whose mission all along is to go platinum on albums, to sellout stadiums, and to prostitute themselves to all the commercials and movie soundtracks would have them.

Of course, Let’s Touch Fives! is a personal blog and the inclusion of Parachutes is my personal choice. This is probably the only album in the zeroes where I can sing along to all the tracks without a lyric sheet, and that has to count for something. A comparison that works for Parachutes is the sitcom Friends. People love to complain about how predictable the plot is and how its comedy panders to the lowest common denominator of viewers, but the same people can tell you the show’s whole story line off the top of their heads. Meanwhile, the success of Coldplay became one of the musical points of reference of the zeroes, paving the road for other “nice” Britpop bands like Keane, Snow Patrol, Aqualung, The Fray, etc. (same parallel with How I Met Your Mother and Friends). They were “nice” boys from London, but they were one of the most successful and important “nice” boys of the decade, even if all they strive for is to create songs to sing along at top your lungs with. Music and pop culture definitely calls for bands like these.