Victim of Love: Harmonizing Music Tastes

Relationships are complicated. That is, of course, the understatement to end all understatements. Couple two humans together and tell them to make it work and make things last for more than a year, or a month, or even a week, and you're requesting for an assignment so strenuous that someone should interview God face to face one day and ask, "Love? What were you thinking?" So, with things as complicated as they are, how can you possibly make it more complex? Simple. Your taste in music is important. Your special love interest's taste in music is doubly so.

Be honest. We’ve all done this at some point in our relationship career. You’ve met someone before, and fallen head over heels, and then had it all come to a screeching halt because of some revealed adoration for something from your “crap’ file of songs. Here you had someone tremendously attractive, and smart, and sexy, and phenomenal to spend hours with, but all those amazing qualities became insignificant once you scrolled through the objectionable list of artists in that someone’s iPod. Now, this isn’t to say that that someone doesn’t have the right to enjoy a catchy Pink song or a harrowing Hinder track. That’s not even what does it. It’s getting into a car with them and noticing them taking over the radio. It’s them choosing a shitty background music while you’re making out. It’s the realization that spending time with that someone, colliding your two worlds means that your life was about to be soundtracked by something that your musical taste voluminously disagrees with. You’re having none of that. Yes, it’s shallow to base your loving criteria at something as inconsequential as music. But, it is what it is.

Fortunately, it gets better in time. Or for my case, it did. I recently celebrated a one-year anniversary with my girlfriend Ikhari, the first time I’ve reached such a milestone without the on-and-off thing. And, a couple of years ago, I wouldn’t have allowed to keep it going for this long. Our music preferences aren’t that unalike. I’m a fan of all of her R&B jams. From time to time, she has joined me while I’m amidst a passionate session with Bon Iver, Alphabeat, Wilco, among others. What bothers me is the wrestling bout we have for a tryst with our own favorites. I need to listen to my music, and so does she. The problem is there’s only one car stereo, there’s only one radio, there’s only one iPod. I love spending time with her; the problem is that how can I spend time with her if she insists on hearing Lady Gaga’s “Pokerface” for the 17th time in a row.

But you live with it. You make it work. Compromise extends to the CD player. It’s the understanding that that’s a huge component of the whole difficult relationship thing. You don’t offer her salvation from all the rubbish choices. You take both the good and the bad. You become more charitable musically for the sake of love.