Sports: Discuss: Fantasy Hockey '09
For the majority of my Canadian life, I was extremely lucky to belong to a very tight group of friends. We were the perfect mix of guys, where everyone has a little something to bring to the table. Fuse us into one super person and that super person would be a menace. We all love each other’s company, we all love getting hammered, and we all love hockey.
However, because of personal agendas, everyone was sprinkled among their own corners of the world: I’m in the Philippines doing God knows what; one friend realized the inevitable fact that he was overwhelmingly cooler than Edmonton and moved to Vancouver; one friend moved to Calgary to hate on the Flames; one friend went to Kentucky to date NFL cheerleaders; one friend moved to Quebec to learn French, moved back to Edmonton to show off his French, then moved again, this time, to Victoria to obtain new material.
Unfortunately, it’s getting harder and harder for me to keep in touch with everybody and I’m beginning to really miss these hockey-loving motherfuckers. So I had an idea that should force us to keep in touch and I proposed it to my friend, Jim, on his Facebook wall. This is how it went down:
Me: btw, we should start a fantasy hockey league, so i can kick ass without actually watching a game
J-Was: Being the hardcore Canadian and avid hockey fan that I am, I accept your challenge. Be prepared to be outright dominated by my superior drafting skills Benoza! How do we set that up?
Me: i'll create a league in espn or yahoo or wherever, then i'll send an invitation to future victims of marc's fantasy hockey wrath
Jimbo Jones: hahaha, I like your style good sir. I look forward to squaring off with you in the 1st annual Mortal Kombat Hockey Draft of Death.
And there it is! The genesis. The birth of something monumental. I wanted to name the league “Marc and the Race for 2nd Place”, but Jim’s has this undeniable ooompph to it. Who doesn’t want to win a league called “Mortal Kombat Hockey Draft of Death”? Nobody, that’s who.
Here’s everything you need to know about our league:
*It’s scored using a rotisserie format in 10 stats—goals, assists, plus/minus, powerplay goals, shots, penalty minutes, average time on ice, goalie wins, save percentage, and goals against average.
*Each team picks 22 players (9 starting forwards, 5 starting defencemen, 2 starting goalies, 1 utility skater, and 5 bench guys). You can make unlimited roster changes (change starters, pick up guys on waiver, etc.). Trades are allowed, especially if you’ve been consuming alcohol.
* There's no prize money at stake, because it'll be really difficult to pool everyone's cash. So we’re playing strictly for pride here, folks.
*We draft in snake-fashion—no. 1 picks first, no. 2 picks second … onto the no. 10 guy, who picks last in the first round (10th overall) and first in the second round (11th overall).
*Talking smack is mandatory.
I’m going to cover everything about our fantasy league here, because I don’t actually want to work. When the season is all said and done, it’ll serve as a blueprint for how to flawlessly run a fantasy league. That, or a blueprint for how to eat my own words. It’ll be fun either way.
However, because of personal agendas, everyone was sprinkled among their own corners of the world: I’m in the Philippines doing God knows what; one friend realized the inevitable fact that he was overwhelmingly cooler than Edmonton and moved to Vancouver; one friend moved to Calgary to hate on the Flames; one friend went to Kentucky to date NFL cheerleaders; one friend moved to Quebec to learn French, moved back to Edmonton to show off his French, then moved again, this time, to Victoria to obtain new material.
Unfortunately, it’s getting harder and harder for me to keep in touch with everybody and I’m beginning to really miss these hockey-loving motherfuckers. So I had an idea that should force us to keep in touch and I proposed it to my friend, Jim, on his Facebook wall. This is how it went down:
Me: btw, we should start a fantasy hockey league, so i can kick ass without actually watching a game
J-Was: Being the hardcore Canadian and avid hockey fan that I am, I accept your challenge. Be prepared to be outright dominated by my superior drafting skills Benoza! How do we set that up?
Me: i'll create a league in espn or yahoo or wherever, then i'll send an invitation to future victims of marc's fantasy hockey wrath
Jimbo Jones: hahaha, I like your style good sir. I look forward to squaring off with you in the 1st annual Mortal Kombat Hockey Draft of Death.
And there it is! The genesis. The birth of something monumental. I wanted to name the league “Marc and the Race for 2nd Place”, but Jim’s has this undeniable ooompph to it. Who doesn’t want to win a league called “Mortal Kombat Hockey Draft of Death”? Nobody, that’s who.
Here’s everything you need to know about our league:
*It’s scored using a rotisserie format in 10 stats—goals, assists, plus/minus, powerplay goals, shots, penalty minutes, average time on ice, goalie wins, save percentage, and goals against average.
*Each team picks 22 players (9 starting forwards, 5 starting defencemen, 2 starting goalies, 1 utility skater, and 5 bench guys). You can make unlimited roster changes (change starters, pick up guys on waiver, etc.). Trades are allowed, especially if you’ve been consuming alcohol.
* There's no prize money at stake, because it'll be really difficult to pool everyone's cash. So we’re playing strictly for pride here, folks.
*We draft in snake-fashion—no. 1 picks first, no. 2 picks second … onto the no. 10 guy, who picks last in the first round (10th overall) and first in the second round (11th overall).
*Talking smack is mandatory.
I’m going to cover everything about our fantasy league here, because I don’t actually want to work. When the season is all said and done, it’ll serve as a blueprint for how to flawlessly run a fantasy league. That, or a blueprint for how to eat my own words. It’ll be fun either way.
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