This Week On Billboard: Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah
This Week On Billboard is where I unabashedly critique the current no. 1 hit on Billboard.com, the major yardstick for what's "hot" in music today. In order to simplify the review for those who don't want to read the whole article, each song is given a "!" rating, in which the finest grabs five of them.
This half-wit bears his soul over uneventful acoustic guitar strums like a homeless man's Chris Carraba, singing self-aggrandizing lyrics like "even more in love with me you'd fall". Meanwhile, millions of prepubescent girls are declaring this the greatest lyrics ever penned the same way they've declared Amanda Bynes the greatest comedienne that ever lived. Forgive me for being bitter; but I don't have a number one hit, I've written better love notes back in junior high, and if I have a band, I wouldn't name ourselves "Plain White T's". I hope Delilah's fucking a New York Knick behind his back.
Anyway, cut this song in half and it improves from mind-numbingly dreadful to forgettably average. If someone sings this to me over the phone, I would've hung up already after the first verse and I would swear not to be involved in a long-distance relationship forever.
Weeks in No. 1: 2
Weeks in Chart: 17
From the upcoming All That We Needed LP
!
This half-wit bears his soul over uneventful acoustic guitar strums like a homeless man's Chris Carraba, singing self-aggrandizing lyrics like "even more in love with me you'd fall". Meanwhile, millions of prepubescent girls are declaring this the greatest lyrics ever penned the same way they've declared Amanda Bynes the greatest comedienne that ever lived. Forgive me for being bitter; but I don't have a number one hit, I've written better love notes back in junior high, and if I have a band, I wouldn't name ourselves "Plain White T's". I hope Delilah's fucking a New York Knick behind his back.
Anyway, cut this song in half and it improves from mind-numbingly dreadful to forgettably average. If someone sings this to me over the phone, I would've hung up already after the first verse and I would swear not to be involved in a long-distance relationship forever.
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