This Week On Billboard: Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend

This Week On Billboard is where I unabashedly critique the current no. 1 hit on Billboard.com, the major yardstick for what's "hot" in music today. In order to simplify the review for those who don't want to read the whole article, each song is given a "!" rating, in which the finest grabs five of them.

Weeks in No. 1: 1

Weeks in Chart: 10

From the The Best Damn Thing LP

!!!!

HEY! HEY! YOU! YOU! I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND/NO WAY! NO WAY! I THINK YOU NEED A NEW ONE.

A flagrant blast of energy, merging together riotous hand claps and cheerleader chants. Never mind that the statement is remarkably unreasonable (I don't like your girlfriend and whether you like her or not is totally irrelevant); but the rambunctiousness of this barely rhyming couplet trumps the statement's absurdity , gathering every mall-brat—fuck it, everyone!—for a fist-pumping, hair-flipping, girlfriend-smacking celebration of Avril's upper-hand.

If only this chorus was the whole song though, then it would've replaced every "hell yeah, I'm the motherfucking princess" and every "she's, like, so whatever" that manifests. The repulsiveness of the verses' lyrics and the derivativeness of the verses' melody cannot be escaped. Thankfully, the anthemic chorus hits again and all is forgiven.

[watch | listen]