This Week On Billboard: Rihanna - Only Girl (In The World)

This Week On Billboard is where I unabashedly critique the current no. 1 hit on Billboard.com, the major yardstick for what's "hot" in music today. In order to simplify the review for those who don't want to read the whole article, each song is given a "!" rating, in which the finest grabs five of them. It's been gone for a while, now it's back after a 22-month hiatus.

A review of this week's number one single right after you love Rihanna, like she's a hot ride





I was slightly hoping that “Only Girl (In The World)” wouldn’t reach the top of Billboard Hot 100 (even though I did predict this in my last blog entry). I’ve already discussed Rihanna in detail last time we’re here—her prosperous year, her finite number of strengths, and her perseverance through personal life adversity. I’m a little worried that I couldn’t expand this This Week On Billboard’s submission into a substantial essay. But, hey, I’ve already conjured up a whole paragraph by being all meta, so I guess I’ll be ok.

Back to Rihanna and her successful run of singles. When “Only Girl (In The World)” reached no. 1 this week, it placed Rihanna in a four-way tie for tenth most number one hits with nine and in a tie with Janet Jackson for ninth most cumulative weeks at number one with 33 weeks. She also belongs now in a select group of artists who are involved in four or more number one hit singles in a year, a list that includes The Beatles (did it twice in 1964 and 1965), The Supremes (1964), Jackson 5 (1970), George Michael (1988), Puff Daddy (1997), and Usher (2004). You can argue against the legitimacy of these objective achievements in the subjective world of music, especially if someone like Sean “Puffy” Combs can belong in a same list with The Beatles. What Rihanna accomplished in 2010 though is impressive nonetheless. And her noteworthy career is not finished yet.

Is this single actually worthy of its success? Well, as I mentioned in my last entry, “What’s My Name?” is Rihanna’s best 2010 effort, even if it only prevailed by default. “Only Girl (In The World)”, however, is really not that far behind. In fact, I’ll confidently declare that this is the second best chorus she has ever sung, outshined only by the chorus in “Umbrella”. Rihanna just sounds victorious here, like she’s screaming her lungs out from the top of the world (confirmed by the video), and her prodigious regency transforms this into an undeniable anthem. Stargate, who gets the producer’s credit in four of Rihanna’s nine chart-toppers, even accentuated its anthemic-ness by halting the four-on-the-floor beat in the first third of the chorus, only occupying Rihanna’s bellow with buzzing synth blasts. He then creates a slow rhythmic build in the second third with an incessant bass palpitation and an intensifying snare murmur, and he closes it out with an emphatic, fist-pumping, all-out, rave showpiece.

But as I mentioned before, “Only Girl (In The World)” would’ve been exemplary if the whole single is as massive as the chorus. The verses are incredibly tepid and monotonous, and it kills the intoxicating headbuzz that the chorus delivers. Transitioning from the towering first chorus into the spiritless second verse is so awkward that it feels like you had your feet swept right from under you. The bridge is not much of an improvement; it sounds like it’s a lost fragment of “Disturbia” that they decided to cut-and-paste for this song. This causes “Only Girl (In The World)” to seem uneven, like it’s three songs sutured into one.

As appreciative as I am about Rihanna’s conquests, I really hope that this is it for her, at least in 2010, because I’m running out of things to say. But she is a hot commodity. She is featured in David Guetta’s “Who’s That Chick?”, a single just released last week and has not debuted yet in the Billboard Hot 100 charts. Moreover, “Only Girl (In The World)” is only the second single off her fifth album, Loud, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the next single released from it also reaches the top of the charts before the year ends. “Cheers (Drink To That)” is already gaining notoriety. What am I going to write about next? Her red hair? The political climate of Barbados?

(t5!) score: !!!!